


Splinter

by lachatblanche



Series: Dollhouse AU [15]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Consent Issues, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lachatblanche/pseuds/lachatblanche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik begins to worry about Raven's increasingly unpredictable behaviour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splinter

Things were easier said than done, when it came to Raven. She had agreed to keep away from the investigation, yes, but that didn’t mean that she actually _did_. The revelation that Klaus Schmidt – that is to say, Sebastian Shaw – was the man behind the Dollhouse seemed to be something of a game-changer for her. Her promise to distance herself from things had now been all but swept clean from her mind. Instead, she approached the case with a new ferocity that startled even Erik in its aggressiveness, leaving him wary and unsure what to think. On the one hand, he was secretly pleased to have Raven with him still; but on the other, he had wanted her to stay away for a _reason_. Raven, unfortunately, didn’t seem to get this, and simply ignored him whenever he tried to remind her of her promise and instead immersed herself even deeper into the investigation.

It was shortly after one of these failed attempts at dissuasion that Raven came upon something that sent her into a storm of hissing, seething fury.

‘I can’t believe it!’ she raged for the third time in as many minutes, striding up and down the room with her fists clenched and her eyes wild, ‘He was _here_! Sebastian Shaw was in town for almost two whole days and we _missed _him!’__

Erik watched her pace about, trying to ignore the throbbing in his temples.

‘Raven,’ he sighed, rubbing tiredly at his forehead, ‘I don’t know _how_ exactly you discovered Sebastian Shaw’s schedule – and before you start, I’m not sure I actually _want_ to know – but didn’t we both agree that from now on you would keep _out_ of Dollhouse business?’

Raven paused in her ranting to throw him an exasperated, almost scornful glance. 

‘That was _weeks_ ago-’

‘Week. _One_ week.’

‘Whatever,’ she rolled her eyes impatiently and shook her head before striding up to him and fixing him with a wild expression. ‘Do you seriously not understand what this _means_?’

Erik took in her frenzied, over-excited state, his own expression cool and emotionless.

‘No, Raven,’ he said calmly, ‘I don’t. What does it mean?’

‘It means …’ Raven trailed off and her face suddenly paled. For a moment Erik almost thought that she might collapse, she looked so frail and despairing. Then, like a switch had been flipped, her eyes flashed and one of those odd, violent blazes of rage overtook her, her fragility from moments before a mere memory. ‘It means that he was here for a _reason_ ,’ she hissed. ‘And that reason was the _Dollhouse_ and that means that he-’ her eyes trailed across the room before coming to rest on the picture of the smiling Charles Xavier and once again that almost despairing look came over her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head, swallowing. ‘… And that means we don’t know when he will return or when our next chance will be,’ she finished bleakly, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

Erik watched her closely before his own eyes followed her gaze to the picture on the wall. He grimaced.

‘Raven,’ he said tiredly, ‘I know how you feel but we have to be patient. It will be okay – it’s not like we won’t have other chances. Shaw’s bound to return at some point -’

‘Oh I have no doubt about that!’ Raven interrupted him with a snarl, her lips curled up into a vicious sneer, ‘That sick, sadistic _bastard_.’ She let out a harsh breath before calming down abruptly, crossing her arms in front of her and fixing Erik with a penetrating stare. ‘But what if he _doesn’t_ return soon? God knows what that fucker does behind closed doors, but he’s a busy guy. What will we do then? I mean, _who knows_ when he’ll return? It might be _months_ for all we know.’

‘Then it will be months,’ Erik answered calmly. He returned Raven’s look with an even one of his own. ‘I know you are eager to bring this to a swift conclusion but think about it: what would we do if we _did_ confront Shaw? We have nothing on him, Raven. Nothing. At least, nothing that’s tangible. Don’t forget that he is an extraordinarily clever man who is highly proficient at covering his tracks. I’m sorry, Raven, but even if he stayed here for the next week or two – we are simply not ready. And until we are, it’s best not to show our hand.’

Raven didn’t like hearing that. She didn’t like it at all. She snarled at this announcement and all but kicked at the chair next to her.

‘Then what’s the fucking _point_?’ she growled, looking more frustrated than Erik had ever seen her, even whilst in one of her worst moods. ‘If we – if the goddamn _police_ – can’t stop that motherfucker then what’s the fucking point of doing this? Why do I even _bother_?’

Erik gritted his teeth. As someone with a very short fuse himself, he understood just how tiresome police work could normally be. And with this case in particular … his eyes once again wandered over to the picture on the wall and he swallowed tightly, his fists clenching. It was a fight to keep himself from lashing out in frustration like Raven, but he just about managed to restrain himself.

‘You bother because you’re a good person,’ he said steadily, taking great care to keep the tension and impatience that thrummed deeply inside him out of his voice. ‘You’re a good person who cares about the people that have been wronged by Shaw, and you want to help them. You want Shaw to be stopped before he can hurt anyone else ever again.’

Raven didn’t look at him. She was instead gazing at the picture of Charles, her mouth twisted and her expression surprisingly bitter.

‘Oh, if only you knew,’ she said softly, her voice filled with pain and self-loathing. Erik frowned at that and made a movement towards her, causing her head to snap up. She eyed him then with a curious mix of emotions in her eyes before shaking her head. ‘Why do I even bother?’ she muttered again, before turning around and stalking away, leaving Erik staring after her.

 

*****

 

This rather set the tone for the rest of Raven’s behaviour from then on. She had never been the most stable of individuals, but, following this incident, her behaviour was frankly disquieting. 

Although he never said anything, Erik was growing increasingly concerned about her. He was, by now, relatively sure that Raven had some sort of mental condition – if he had to guess, he would have said that she was bipolar – but he had never been able to bring himself to say anything to her. He had once or twice seen her covertly take some sort of medication, so he was reasonably certain that she was probably on a prescription of some kind, although he had taken the time to rule out the possibility that she was a drug addict. He had given serious thought to this; after all, Raven frequently exhibited such symptoms as violent mood swings and paranoia, and her secretive use of pills did not help the equation. He had eventually rejected this diagnosis, however; Raven was as bright and quick-witted as anyone, and perhaps, sharper than most. Furthermore, her changes in mood, while unpredictable, could almost always be traced back to a trigger, although Erik could never fully put his finger on what these triggers were. All he knew was that, 99% of the time, they were linked to the Dollhouse.

Raven’s opinion of the case also seemed to waver even more wildly than normal. Sometimes she would be eager about it, enthusiastic almost to the point where it seemed that her obsession would overtake Erik’s. And then, suddenly, she would do an about-turn and dismiss it completely, glaring resentfully at the walls covered in research and snarling at Erik’s questions.

The worst of it, however, was when she took to mocking his efforts.

‘It’s useless, you know,’ she sometimes taunted him when in such a mood, her lip curled up into a sneer. ‘You won’t find them. The Dollhouse, I mean. All this time, all this wasted effort – and for what? Some random guy you don’t even know?’

Erik would just grit his teeth and force himself to wait these moods out. She would apologise afterwards, of course, and they would make up, and most of the time, her words would be all but forgotten by the both of them.

Sometimes, though, her words could really sting.

It was late, and the two of them had just spent the entire day trying to fruitlessly track down the last name on the list of six that had arrived with the second anonymous envelope. It had been at Raven’s urging that they had taken a break from digging into Shaw, and had returned to the last name on the list in the hopes that they would have better luck than last time. This hope had turned out to be overly optimistic, however, and as the day went by, Raven’s mood had grown gradually blacker, her initially cheery comments quickly being reduced to monosyllabic grunts and then complete silence.

It was only when Raven opened her mouth that Erik realised how much he would have actually preferred the silence.

‘It makes me laugh,’ she started abruptly, breaking the quiet peace of Erik’s apartment and tearing his attention away from the files in his hand, ‘to think what it is that goes on in your head. About Charles, I mean.’

Erik immediately tensed. They didn’t talk much about Charles Xavier, even though he was quite certain that Raven was well aware of his quiet infatuation with the man. It was as if there was an unacknowledged agreement between the two of them that the subject was off-limits. At least, there had been until now.

She wasn’t wrong, though: it would be a lie to say that Charles Xavier wasn’t almost constantly on Erik’s mind. He refused to admit as much, however, especially not now with Raven in one of her malice-filled moods. And so he maintained a stony silence and kept his eyes on his work, even as all of his attention was now focused solely on the girl in front of him.

‘No, really,’ Raven was saying, sprawled out over an armchair with a restless gleam in her eye as she stared at him. ‘It’s actually kind of hilarious. Well,’ she amended after a moment, ‘ _pathetic_. It’s more _pathetic_ than anything else.’

Erik continued to ignore her, although his jaw was set tight and his fists were now clenched. He knew that Raven was trying to draw his ire, trying to provoke him, and he refused to give her the satisfaction.

‘What do you imagine, Erik?’ Raven continued, her tone almost pleasant and conversational, ‘About how it’s going to go? Go on, tell me – I’m genuinely interested. What _do_ you think will happen?’

Erik didn’t answer, his lips pressed tightly together.

Raven hummed and cocked her head, eyeing him patiently.

‘I’ll tell you what _I_ think you imagine will happen, then,’ she said easily, and Erik’s head shot up before he could stop it, and he braced himself for her next words.

‘What you think will happen is this: you think that you’re going to be some sort of _hero_ ,’ Raven said, and suddenly the lightness of her tone was gone and instead replaced with spite. ‘You think you are going to march up to the Dollhouse and break the doors down, and Charles will swoon and fall into your arms, and everything will be fan-fucking-tastic.’

This fantasy unfortunately hit just a little bit too close to home for Erik, who for the first time was unable to remain cool and indifferent in the face of her taunts. Instead, he found himself sitting bolt upright and glaring at Raven, unable to stop himself from feeling both slightly betrayed and not a little resentful.

‘And so what if it is?’ he snapped, feeling defensive. ‘What is it to you? It’s not any business of _yours_. What do _you_ care?’

Raven’s face became pale at that. She stared at Erik in silence, her eyes wide and round and full. And then, before Erik knew what was happening, she was suddenly on her feet, looming at his side and all but spitting at him. ‘Fuck you!’ she snarled. ‘You _and_ your fucking _perverted_ fixation with Charles! It’s _pathetic_!’ she hissed venomously. ‘Do you really think he will care who you are? Do you really think he’ll know you?’ She laughed. ‘He’s a freaking _Doll_ , Erik – he doesn’t even know his own fucking name!’

Erik clenched his fists and forced himself to keep cool, unwilling to let Raven know how deeply her words had cut him. ‘Drop it, Raven,’ he gritted out, trying to focus on the pages in his hand and refusing to meet her eyes. ‘Just stop it. You don’t know what the hell you are talking about.’

That just seemed to incense Raven even more.

‘The fuck I don’t!’ she screeched, tearing the papers out of his hand and throwing them away. ‘You think I don’t see it, but I do! You _want_ him! You’re _obsessed_ with him! You - you’re just like _him_! You’re just like _all_ of them! Jesus Christ, why don’t you just go down to the Dollhouse and freaking _pay_ for him? That’s what you want, isn’t it?’ she sneered. ‘You could have him exactly how you like, exactly how you’ve dreamed in all the fucked-up little fantasies that you have when you jerk off. And it won’t even be Charles, but you won’t care, because you’ll have fucked him and used him just like-’

Erik jerked to his feet, and the fury on his face was such that Raven’s voice faltered mid-rant.

Erik was fuming.

‘Get out,’ he said in a low, furious voice.

Raven stared at him and opened her mouth to argue, but Erik interrupted before she could.

‘I said _get out_.’

Raven looked at him, wide-eyed for a moment, before walking to the door. She paused at the doorway, however, and turned back, a look of guilt and remorse on her face.

‘Erik …’ she said in a small voice.

Erik shook his head.

‘Not now, Raven,’ he said tightly. ‘I know you didn’t really mean it and I know that this gets to you, but not now. Right now I am too angry to stand the sight of you, so I really need you to get out before I do something that I’ll regret.’

Raven swallowed and nodded. Then, with a quiet ‘ _I’m sorry,_ ’ she slipped out the door and shut it silently behind her.

Once she was gone Erik immediately slumped back into his chair and closed his eyes.

_Fuck_ , he thought.

And that pretty much summed things up.


End file.
